Rachel Walters | 02/18/2018
“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12
When Pastor Josh asked me to write a blog post, I knew immediately what topic I wanted to share on. I told him I could write a book on this subject of waiting by now.
My husband, Cam, and I met our second semester of college. I was 18, he was 19, and I had vowed to myself as a young teenager that I was going to wait for my future husband; I wasn’t going to waste my time dating any random guy unless I knew he was the one I would marry. And I did. Cam knew the moment he saw me and I knew within a month of meeting him that we were going to marry each other. We were just starting our college careers, and Cam knew that we needed to wait until we were done with college and had solid jobs before we could get married and be able to stand on our own feet. We ended up dating for 5.5 years before we were able to finally get married and start our lives together. The wait was torturous, but I realized very shortly after getting married how thankful I was for his stubbornness in ensuring we were financially ready.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9
We began our marriage in a humble one bedroom apartment, and started saving to purchase a house we could raise a family in. After 2.5 years of saving, we started looking at houses in our area. We found one that we fell in love with on a beautiful quiet street that we thought was perfect for us. I saw this as our opportunity to start growing our family and life, I started envisioning what we could do to the house to make it our own, and we moved ahead with the next steps to put an offer in. We realized before we signed our offer that the closing costs through our current mortgage lender were astronomical, and we couldn’t afford to purchase any house under those high costs. That being our first home buying experience, we were absolutely crushed; we didn’t realize there were other options for lenders who didn’t charge such a high cost for paperwork, so we stopped our house search and hunkered down while we licked our wounds and continued saving. About a year later in February of 2017, we started up our search again with an amazing new mortgage broker, and started the long, heartbreaking process of falling in love with houses and putting in offer after offer only to be continually beat out by cash investors. We prayed with each house that God would open the doors if it was the right house, and close the doors if it wasn’t. We would end up putting an offer on 5 houses before we found “the one”. Finally, in July of that year we toured our house. We both knew the moment we walked through the doors of that charming 1925 colonial that this was the one. We ran home, wrote a heartfelt letter to the woman who had owned it since 1948, included a photo of ourselves, met with our realtor again, signed the offer papers, and our realtor hand delivered our offer at 7pm. I cried (literally) out to God with the same prayer I had for all of the other houses; that if this wasn’t the one, please close the doors, as difficult as that was to pray. By 8:30 that evening, we heard the news that the seller had accepted our offer against another one that was already on the table, and cancelled all of the showings that were scheduled the next day. We were absolutely ecstatic. Now that we’ve been living in that house for 6 months, we can look back and see God’s hand in every step of the process, closing the doors on all of the other houses to ensure we got this one, the perfect one for us in the most perfect timing imaginable.
I haven’t always been a very graceful “waiter” (Cam is much better at it than I am). Through our seasons of waiting I’ve cried out to God in anger more times than I care to admit, not understanding why He would ask us to wait so long, and why every big step we want to take in life is such a heartbreaking process for us. It’s easy to look back now and see how perfectly God was timing everything, and I’m so thankful for His never ending grace that is poured out on me through my doubting and questioning. So I’ve included a few things below that I’ve learned along the way which have helped me tremendously through the seasons of waiting.
“I will give thanks to you, LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing the praises of your name, O Most High.” Psalm 9:1-2
Cam and I are quickly approaching our 10 year anniversary of when we started dating, and are currently in our next season of waiting as we continue to pray for the blessing of a baby. We recently lost our first baby early in my pregnancy, and we are both grieving the loss of a life that we have been waiting so long for. Again, I have to remind myself constantly of His faithfulness, His PERFECT timing, and cultivate true thankfulness for the blessings He has poured out on us so far, including the precious life that grew in me for such a short time. Through sharing our story, we found so many other couples who have gone through the same thing, and who have felt so alone in their grief until now because no one talks about miscarriage. I’m so thankful knowing that our baby made a difference, that our loss wasn’t for nothing. God works like that, bringing good out of the most heartbreaking of situations when we trust Him to do so. I have to keep in mind that if He never blesses us with healthy, living babies and the gift of being a mama to children on this earth (which I have waited my whole life for), HE IS STILL GOOD. He still has good things planned for our lives, He will never leave us, and He is still worthy of our praise.
“The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. Sing the praises of the LORD, enthroned in Zion; proclaim among the nations what he has done.” Psalm 9:9-11
Rachel Walters | Wife & Stay At Home MotherRachel Walters is the wife of Cam Walters and mother of Lincoln and Levi. She is a volunteer in our children's ministry, a creative mind, a lover of theology, and contributor to our blog.
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